These Are My Confessions may become a series wherein I admit things that I should probably not put on the internet. But you only live once so…
I tend to naturally be a very happy person. I’m told that sometimes it’s annoying how happy I seem. My apparent ease with happiness has been viewed as a defining characteristic of who I am by family, friends, and foes since I was a little kid so it’s something that I have always defined myself by as well. But growing up – *really* growing up – it’s harder and harder to maintain that constant cheer. I don’t always view the world through rose-colored glasses anymore. And when I do, it’s often because I remembered to put them on before leaving the apartment.
Sometimes happy takes work and sometimes I have to go looking for it. Sometimes I have to find it. This was a “find it” week.
This week has been a really rough news cycle. There is a lot of sad and bad and scary going on in the world right now and I’ve been a bit out of sorts myself over the last few days. I’ve been very emotions-on-the-surface and it doesn’t take much to make my eyes well up and for a lump to appear in my throat; overflowing emotions could be brought on in equal strength by watching a little kid lick an ice cream cone OR listening to reports of what is happening in Ferguson. I’m a person who always feels big feelings. I’m grateful for that – I’d rather feel big than not at all and during marathons of Criminal Minds, it reassures me that I could never be a psychopath. But it can be unsettling and I try to look for the “why” when I find myself in this space.
Maybe it’s the antibiotic I’ve been taking to knock out an infection – I always have stronger reactions to medications than predicted. Maybe it’s that I’ve been watching Six Feet Under for the first time and I’m absorbing some of the heavier topics tackled in the series. Maybe it’s certain personal/family stuff. Maybe I’m too much in my own head. Maybe it’s because over the last week and a half, I’ve spent more time in the apartment due to the foster kittens needing attention and then Fab needing attention (because they can’t get attention at the same time) and as important as all of that is, it often means that I’m by myself. Don’t get me wrong – I cherish alone time; just not a lot of alone time. Luckily I had some wonderful friends stop by twice this week to help socialize the kittens (which is a real thing) but the invitations to help me with the cats are also extended to make sure I don’t go bonkers by being alone too much and it would be silly of me to not admit to that.
Or maybe I’m simply picking up on the distressing vibe the universe is putting out right now – because I do firmly believe that people can feel that shizz.
Honestly, it’s probably a combination of all of the above.
But because this week has been such a slog, I’ve been looking to find the good. Looking for the happy. And there is nothing wrong with needing a little external stimulus to jump-start the balancing out of emotions. So here it is…
A HAPPY LIST FOR A HARD WEEK
- The Wumpus – the Wumpus always makes me laugh; this is a ridiculous video and I always find new things to giggle about plus it makes me think of some of my favorite Meg(h)ans who introduced me to it years ago. When in doubt: WUMPUS.
- Fabian in snuggle mode – my mainkittenlady has been a snugglebutt lately which is rare and welcome … but also probably signifying that she is feeling insecure due to the itty kitbits… but SNUGGLES!
- Gorgeous Gifs – these beautiful gifs created by the Smithsonian Library are so imaginative! I particularly like the elephant balloon.
- Sunshine, blue skies, and fresh air – self-explanatory
- Ron Swanson Dancing – you can’t be feeling anything but fantastic when watching this; you just can’t.
- Visits with friends – I got to hang out with four of my lovely lady friends after work this week plus I got the added bonus of a ladies-who-lunch-from-foodtrucks-date with another favorite friend; I am so lucky to be surrounded by such smart, passionate, talented, hilarious, and caring women. Truly. I am.
- Kanye makes it raaaaiiiiin with tots – my cousin did this today and I am so proud.
- Kittens doing the (modified) ALS challenge – I got nominated to do this after “liking” a piece that brings up some issues with viral awareness campaigns but also after an exchange with a friend about why it has been awesome for her family; so though I had mixed feelings, I decided that it couldn’t hurt and will be donating a little bit to a charity as well. My twist was to do it with the adoptable kittens. Officer Fuzz Nugget wasn’t having it but Reese cooperated enough and it’s pretty adorable:
- Weekend plans – I’ve got some fun stuff on the docket for this weekend: a big event at the shelter; some BFry time; an overdue haircut; seeing my Fairy Godmother; and more kittens.
- 24 Hours of Happy – I adore this site; watching people let loose and dance to a happy song makes me smile – I don’t care how many times I’ve heard this played on the radio, I will never get sick of this site.
So these are my confessions, my friends. I’m not always so easy with the happy. And that’s OK because life does not always bring the happy. But it doesn’t mean you stop looking.