Hello 2016

Dear 2016:

You have a lot to live up to.

2015 was ushered in with a heart full of hope, but very much still on the mend after the roughest year I hope to ever experience. What I had no way of knowing was that my heart needed to be so deeply torn in 2014 in order to build up the smooth, strong, new strands of muscle capable of withstanding the amount of overwhelming love 2015 would bring. Without that tear down and build up, it may have burst or collapsed when flooded with so much good or repelled the notion that such grand, luminous, REAL love was possible.

I will forever be grateful to 2015; it was a year of boldness and it was the year that I came home to my own bones. I said “yes” often – and often to things that scared me or that seemed impossible; and in return, 2015 taught me that everything is possible.

In 2015, I found myself traveling confidently alone in daily adventures and across the country.

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Hello, Pacific Ocean!

For the first time, I performed a piece of my own writing and did so for a sold out crowd.

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A Brief Dating History

I also “bust the bust out of boob jail” and twirled tassels for 900+ people over the run of The Last Burlesque in a triumph over my history with body battles.

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The Last Burlesque: Ryan Maxwell Photography

I saw many dear friends marry and was honored to stand up with not just one, but two couples of my favorite humans as they vowed to journey this life together.

I sent homeless animals to forever homes and helped care for them while they waited to find their families.

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I put myself back into the dating pool and created community around the horrors and atrocities that accompany that dive. I became fully transparent publicly and personally regarding my sexuality and interest in both men and women. I performed one show under the most difficult of circumstances and came through it not unscathed, but knowing that I can handle myself on stage while under personal emotional pressure.

I made good art with really good people.

And in 2015, I fell in love.

I fell deeper in love with my brilliant, beautiful friends for their huge hearts, kind souls, and open minds.  I fell more in love with theatre – with the art of storytelling; with the community in DC; with my artistic teams and casts; and with incredible characters that I so luckily was entrusted to portray. I fell back in love with *my* life – not the thought of what my life could be some day, but with the life I am leading.

And – as if 2015 wanted to solidify its rank as a landmark year – this fall I fell madly in love with the most phenomenal woman who makes my every cell dance. My world is brighter and more joyful than it has ever been in large part due to her presence. And I could not be happier.

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So, 2016, I am entering your year feeling incredibly whole-hearted and excited for all you may have in store.

Welcome. Let’s be friends.

New Year’s Magic

I am not typically big on New Year’s Eve. While it’s a perfect excuse for a party and some champagne, it is just a measure of time. Nothing *actually* happens overnight. No extraordinary thing occurs as the clock changes over from 11:59pm on December 31st to 12 midnight on January 1st that doesn’t occur on any other day. Except maybe more people are more drunk than usual. It is mundane, daily magic that one day passes as another begins.

However, this New Year’s I’m banking on big magic. The kind of magic that shifts universes and starts the world anew.

Through all of December 31st, 2014, I will believe that with each tick closer to midnight, the roughness of this past year is being sloughed away. And when it chimes midnight in the District, I am going to believe with all my soul that the world is fresh. Clean. Smooth. Full of wonder and possibility in a different way than it has been before. Because 2015 is going to be a year of great things and grand adventures. It will be a year of change by choice, not by circumstance.  It will be a year of celebrations and creativity and self-discovery. It will be a year of love and laughter and full presence of being. It will be the start of a chapter that has yet to be fully imagined.  And while some ghosts may linger occasionally whispering 2014 in my ear, the bellows of a joyous 2015 will be louder.

Due to the immeasurable nature of what I want to do with the gift of this fresh year, I will make no resolutions.  Instead, I will say goodbye to the mantras I’ve been using as 2014 has slowly, drunkenly made its way to the door: “Get your house in order.” and “I am letting go.”

And I will say hello to a new one: “I will boldly go.”

So, friends, here’s to a magical New Year and all the good that 2015 will hold! Celebrate beautifully.